Raw Emotions

How in touch are you with your Raw Emotions?

I stopped by Subway this week to grab a salad. After being reminded again that “We no longer chop salads due to the pandemic,” I replied, 

“That’s fine. I would still like a sweet onion chicken teriyaki salad”.

I was soon on my way with my meal in 5 minutes.

I had a nice quiet dinner crunching vegetables to my pleasurable delight. The raw onions were exceptionally red, tear-inducing, acidic, and flavorful, but I savoured every bite. Bedtime rolled by, and I brushed my teeth thoroughly. However, the smell of onions still lingered on my breath. Puzzled, I used my mouthwash twice, yet it still lingered on my breath.

The difference between the result of eating a raw onion vs. fried/cooked/roasted/sauteed/caramelized/grilled, or even pickled is how strong, aromatic, and flavorful it tastes when eaten.

That is how strong emotions are in their natural state. Raw, Unfiltered, and Intense. 

When babies are hurt, they cry out loud, firmly, and as vocal as they can. Same with toddlers and little kids. They see no need to filter how the pain affects them, usually to the chagrin and mortification of their parents when they break down as loud in public as in private. Kids aren’t thinking of what anyone around them feels or how they look when their shrieks of pain emanate from the air. They feel pain. They express pain without any complications of the emotions or overthinking how to express it best.

As a mother of two boys, I have had my fair share of public tantrums. I try to focus on my kids’ pain much more than the eyes staring at me in public when they are hurt. On the contrary when I recently hurt my finger closing the door on entering an office that required the door shut due to the COVID-19 pandemic rules and restrictions. I cried out audibly and then silently, but as I walked into the office, I noticed the death glance I received from other patrons. 

As we creep into teenhood and become more self-aware and self-conscious, we experience a change in how we express our emotions. If we are sad, we put on a brave face, and when we are hurt, we hide and suffer in silence. Sadly the journey into adulthood doesn’t change much; instead, we get better at suppressing our hurt and even downplaying our pain, most times when we stump our foot or hit our side on a surface. 

My question is why? What’s wrong with our raw emotions?

Why does our wailing bring disgust to those around us? 

When did the ‘rawness’ and intensity of our pain become something we should be ashamed to express? 

When did we decide our tears have become a thing of disdain? 

Does this mean our pain affects us any less?

Does this mean our nerve endings and receptacle are no longer functional to alert us of our feelings?

Nothing is more accurate than someone who is in touch with their emotions. Who isn’t afraid to ask for help when needed? Someone who takes a minute to be present with whatever feelings are coursing through their body. Someone who acknowledges their pain and is vulnerable when necessary. The fear of external judgment should no longer determine how we should react to situations.

Once in a while, it might be helpful to check in with yourself. Just ask, are my emotions Raw or Processed?

The answer might surprise you.