Teaching Kids to Think for Themselves

Teaching my kids independence is a top priority for my new phase as a middle mom. Here is a snippet from a conversation this week;

“Don’t jump into that puddle,” I said, walking down the path

Chris: “But why? I have my rain boots on,” he says as he sidesteps, looking at me

Theo: “It’s a muddy puddle for splashing mummy,” and immediately jumps in

Chris gives me one more look and jumps in after his brother.

I stand and stare, mouth open, before my lips slowly relax into a smile.

Parenting doesn’t come with a manual or a certificate. It’s a journey of nurturing, guiding, and ensuring safety while also fostering independence. This crucial aspect begins with learning to parent oneself. Over my 9-year journey as a mother, I’ve realized that independence outweighs blind obedience. This paradigm shift hasn’t been easy, especially for someone like me, who once prioritized others’ happiness.

Creating a safe space where my kids feel free to ask anything has become fundamental. This curiosity is a spark that grows into a flame of self-trust and, ultimately, independence.

Yet, it’s more than just asking questions; it’s about critical thinking, akin to solving a puzzle. Encouraging kids to assess information and draw their own conclusions empowers independent thought.

As a mom of boys, I’ve witnessed a newfound level of independence as they assert themselves. From attempts to leap off tall structures to gestures of emerging manhood, each question brings a mix of chuckles and newfound grey hairs.

My own journey of people-pleasing taught me invaluable lessons. Growing up as a middle child, conformity was the norm. Now, I recognize the importance of boundaries and the role they play in adulthood. It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to be assertive.

Empathy is another crucial lesson. It’s about understanding others’ feelings and expressing questions in a respectful manner. Teaching my boys this skill is pivotal.

Encouraging kids to speak up for themselves is essential. It means articulating their needs and opinions respectfully.

Ultimately, my hope as a parent is to nurture strong, independent thinkers. I aim to gift them the power to be themselves and leave their mark on the world. This journey is a testament to the profound impact of teaching kids independence.